I really wish DHA (the active ingredient in self-tanners) didn't smell like feet. I don't want to be all wrinkly and Magda-like in five years, so fake baking is out, but my sweet Spring Break tan is gone from keeping weird hospital hours, and tan in a bottle is the only solution I can think of for my paling skin. Sigh. It's going to be fall before I know it anyway, maybe I'll just get used to it. Or maybe I'll go into Derm and invent a melanin pill** so the masses can be tan without the wrinkles or feet smell.

I had my own personal elevator today! Someone was moving in and placed the elevator on hold-call, but then they didn't return it when they were done. I called it my Alli-vator. It waited for me on the 8th floor, and then brought me back up from Caribou. If only I had an Allivator every day.

** I'd sell the melanin pill as an herbal supplement so as to avoid the pesky FDA. Those guys don't let us citizens have any fun.