A hallmark of immaturity is throwing the concept of love around like a frisbee. For example, telling somebody you may or may not like, "I love you!!" Yesterday, a friend of mine (20 years old, male) tacked this onto the end of a conversation with me. I wanted to be like, shut up, no you don't. a) You have a girlfriend. b) We barely know each other. c) You just don't, okay? Not even close. And you're insulting Love when you say that!
Maybe young adults do it because they don't know any better: they've never been in love (or many haven't... I'm not trying to condescend here). Or maybe they DO understand what love is, and by mocking it are trying, in Peter-Pan style, to advertise their childishness. "I won't grow up, and I certainly won't fall in love! Look, I don't even know what love is yet." Once upon a time I was guilty of this offense. Some of you may have been part of my group marriage senior year in high school. What can I say?
I bore witness to another interesting display of love and immaturity yesterday. I was at the 1 California bus stop, wolfing down a sandwich post-swim, and listening in on the conversation of three young college students. One boy, two girls. When I walked up to the stop, the boy and girl A were seated. Girl B was standing. I was surprised to see this arrangement, but I nabbed the seat without question since I prefer to sit while eating (although my post swim meal is more of a scarf than a dine).
I figured out that girl B hadn't wanted to sit because then they would have been seated in a line, and the boy was on the other side, and she would have been isolated from him. The drama persisted on the bus... girl A and the boy were sitting together, and girl B sat on another bench, alone, sullen. It was plainly obvious that both girls liked the boy, but he was, of course, clueless. I wanted to call a timeout. I would have told the guy, "I know this is going to blow your mind, but both of these girls like you." I would have told Girl B, "Grow some balls and sit next to him if you want to. He's just going to think you're mad at him if you sit in the corner and sulk. He has no clue you like him, or why you're sad." And I would have told Girl A, "You're going to lose your friend Girl B over there if you keep going after the guys she likes. Stop being a bitch and tell her how you feel about this boy, and decide whether he's worth it."
Maybe young adults do it because they don't know any better: they've never been in love (or many haven't... I'm not trying to condescend here). Or maybe they DO understand what love is, and by mocking it are trying, in Peter-Pan style, to advertise their childishness. "I won't grow up, and I certainly won't fall in love! Look, I don't even know what love is yet." Once upon a time I was guilty of this offense. Some of you may have been part of my group marriage senior year in high school. What can I say?
I bore witness to another interesting display of love and immaturity yesterday. I was at the 1 California bus stop, wolfing down a sandwich post-swim, and listening in on the conversation of three young college students. One boy, two girls. When I walked up to the stop, the boy and girl A were seated. Girl B was standing. I was surprised to see this arrangement, but I nabbed the seat without question since I prefer to sit while eating (although my post swim meal is more of a scarf than a dine).
I figured out that girl B hadn't wanted to sit because then they would have been seated in a line, and the boy was on the other side, and she would have been isolated from him. The drama persisted on the bus... girl A and the boy were sitting together, and girl B sat on another bench, alone, sullen. It was plainly obvious that both girls liked the boy, but he was, of course, clueless. I wanted to call a timeout. I would have told the guy, "I know this is going to blow your mind, but both of these girls like you." I would have told Girl B, "Grow some balls and sit next to him if you want to. He's just going to think you're mad at him if you sit in the corner and sulk. He has no clue you like him, or why you're sad." And I would have told Girl A, "You're going to lose your friend Girl B over there if you keep going after the guys she likes. Stop being a bitch and tell her how you feel about this boy, and decide whether he's worth it."
posted by Alli @ 3:00 PM
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