Lung for sale, cheap

I'm sick. (cough cough) It's mostly a minor annoyance, except for the fact that I missed the Sallie Mae 10K today. I've been looking forward to it for a while, but from what I've heard it's hard to run 6.2 miles when you only have one lung. Oh, sidenote: if you know anyone who needs a lung transplant, I have one in fair condition. I coughed it up last night. I think the other one might be coming out really soon...

The worst part isn't the coughing, but the fact that I can't taste or smell anything. It's profound! Yesterday, I went to the Kensington farmer's market and bought some soap from this handmade soap lady. I explained to her, "I'm extremely congested and can't smell anything, but can you help me pick out a soap for my Mom? She likes lavender and other florals." So what did the lady do? She handed me a soap to smell. WTF! I politely sniffed it, but of course I couldn't smell a damn thing. I told her, "I'm afraid I can't smell this. It's too bad, you have lovely soaps. What is it supposed to smell like?" Then she kept presenting me with more soaps to smell, and finally I just pretended to be able to smell one so she'd stop. I have no idea what the soap I bought is supposed to smell like, but it's yellow. There are some things that are yellow that smell good, I suppose. Hope you like it, Mom.

This morning I broke down and bought some cough syrup to try and quiet my earsplitting cough phenomenon. Grape flavor, but who cares, right? I can't smell or taste anything... or so I thought! All I have to say is, it's so unfair that the only thing I've been able to taste for the past four days has been that damn grape cough syrup. Why, God, why?