This weekend I went to Silver Cycles to get some lube for my chain. It was five bucks, and I felt bad paying for that with my credit card... so I picked out some aero bars, new wheels, and cute blue tires to boot.

To be honest, I have been meaning to make the above purchases for a while... I definitely needed them before the CaliMan Half. It wasn't as impulsive as that. Proof. (I wish I had the money to just go buy a ton of biking stuff whenever I want!) Anyway, I got my fingernails greasy, put all the goodies on my bike, and took it out for a spin! It's so speedy. The aero bars have a dual effect:
1. They make me faster by reducing my profile.
2. They make me meaner looking and more likely to zap pedestrians with MIND BULLETS.

The thing about aero bars is, you can't not feel badass when riding in them. Just look at my pic below. Okay, I'm smiling, but it's a badass smile. And I guarantee if you were a pedestrian, you'd jump outta my way if you saw those gnarly bars comin atcha. I even invented a game. If I want a pedestrian to move out of the way, I press an imaginary button on my aero bar and the pedestrian gets zapped with mind bullets. Then they jump out of the way. If that doesn't work, I call out, "Bike on your left." That works, too.