L.A.M.E.

Gwen Stefani is going Jackson on us. Her music videos for the L.A.M.B. album are just plain weird, and her songs—while they sound cool—are lyrically lacking. At best, her lyrics are confusing; at worst, they’re embarrassing. She took liberties with the school-cheer theme in “Hollaback Girl;” the result is a very simple song that is surprisingly easy to do an interpretive dance to. My main beef is with the song “Harajuku Girls:”

The language of your clothing is something to encounter
A ping pong match between Eastern and Western
Did you see your inspiration in my latest collection
Just wait till you get your little hands on L.A.M.B.
'Cause it's super kawaii, that means super-cute in Japanese

WHAAAT? When did it start being okay to hawk your merchandise in your songs? It reminds me of DVDs that don't allow you to skip the previews. It's just wrong to abuse a captive audience like that. Perhaps shameless mid-song ads are the norm in Japan, but I can't help but see Gwen's lyrics as alienating her American listeners and subliminally manipulating her Harajuku Girls. When this song comes up, I skip it in an act of defiance.

P.S. Her clothing line is pretty bomb though.

My 24th birthday is coming up. I'm excited, because I've always had this vague feeling that age 24 would be great, a fun year to remember. Why? I don't know, but I'm usually more right about these things that just in a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of way. With about 18 good years of introspection under my belt, I've come up with plenty of reasons to believe age 24=good times:

1. 24 is divisible by a lot of numbers. 1,2,3,4,6,8,12,24. No other nearby age can top that.

2. My Mom had me when she was 24. I don't see myself following in her footsteps or anything, and in fact if I did I think that would make this a pretty tricky year. But still, her 24th year was a good year for ME, so maybe my own 24th year will be cool too in a genetic passdown kind of way.

3. 24 is the number of hours in a day.

4. 24 oz is the biggest iced Americano you can get at Starbucks.

Okay, yes, this is ridiculous. But anyway, I'm turning 24.