A true story about today

Now this is story all about how my bike got clipped by a car downtown
and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there,
I'll tell you how I became the Princess of Fresh Air
In Northern Cali, born and raised;
riding bikes is where I spent most of my days.
Chillin out, maxin, relaxin' all sweet and all ridin superfast up and down the street
when a couple of cars they were up to no good,
startin makin trouble in my neighborhood
One driver yelled at me but I wasn’t scared I said,
"Fuck you, learn how to share the road asshole." (No, it doesn’t rhyme, but it felt so good.)

You can find me everywhere

I was shopping for a G-unit necklace for my Mom, and I came upon this blurb:

"The G unit necklace is revolutionary. The G unit necklace has ignited a craze accross the country that can't be stopped. The G unit necklace is showing up everywhere along with rings and watches.
The G unit necklace really hasn't been around that long. The freshness that it brings to the table really helps its momentum and popularity. You have seen the G unit necklace being sported by many of your favorite rappers and hip hop superstars.

Make sure that you aren't the one left in the dust and without a G unit necklace. You can find the G unit necklace everywhere, but the #1 place to grab it is here at Hip Hop Capital."

And I thought, I'm kind of like a G-unit necklace. I'm sparkly and I like to spin. What would happen if... (dream sequence)

Alli is revolutionary. Alli has ignited a craze accross the country that can't be stopped. Alli is showing up everywhere along with rings and watches.

Alli really hasn't been around that long. The freshness that she brings to the table really helps her momentum and popularity. You have seen Alli being sported by many of your favorite rappers and hip hop superstars.

Make sure that you aren't the one left in the dust and without Alli. You can find Alli everywhere, but the #1 place to grab her is here at Hip Hop Capital.

Wow, I'm not sure I've been so accidentally but accurately described in my life.

Geek chic

Yeah, so:

This month's Lucky magazine proudly features white hospital shoes as the new "in thing." Apparently the coolest girls on both coasts are over cowboy boots and into the comfort of nurse's clogs. Splendora's weekly style forecast tells us "What to Bag: a real doctor's bag w/ gold initials." Why, people? It reminds me of the camouflage craze. I guarantee camo just doesn't seem as cool once you have to wear it every day... and doctor's bags similarly lose their cache once you see geeky med students carrying all their doctory tools inside.

I love the random queries I get from strangers that want to add me to their myspace list. Invariably it's some local dude who 'really likes my profile and thinks we have a lot in common!' When I look at his friends list, it's got a couple hundred women in varying degrees of skankitude, with varying degrees of fake breasts. How did you pick me, random dude? I'm in my pajamas on my profile picture, for crying out loud!

This week's myspace specimen: alternaboy.
"sometimes i wanna runaway. you know, just pack my bags one day and completely leave the country with absolutly no plan. Grow my hair out and have a beatnik beard. Being in silence is alot easier sometimes. I like to excerise my mind. I smoke weed and drink lots of alchool."

I can already see we have a lot in common there, pal. I like to exercise my mind too! One way I really get my mental juices flowing is by spell checking-- try it, you might like it! I don't think the military is too keen on the beatnik scene, and weed is kind of verboten... and now that I think about it, "leaving the country with absolutly no plan" isn't going to work for me. Nevertheless, I think we'd get along great! See you at the mosh pit?

Mad dash

There's nothing better than a relaxing Saturday morning with a grande Americano, an open schedule, and a crazy race against the clock to wash your car.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about the wild sport of coin-op car wash. Once the quarters are in the machine, it's four minutes of fast and furious scrubbing. The pros know all time-saving tricks, like not using the low pressure rinse and soap-- that's for wusses with weak wrists and extra quarters to waste. Now, four minutes isn't a long time to wash any car, even a little one like mine. I came through with three seconds to spare this morning, wasting a little extra time on some encrusted bird droppings but picking up bonus points for holding the spray gun thug-style. What will I do with the extra quarters? Maybe I'll spend them downstairs at Safeway in one of those sticker dispenser machines. You never know which one you'll get, but if I get the "Punk Princess" one it's SO going on my bumper. Umm...

Speaking of princesses... I was watching "Top 50 Fashion Don'ts" yesterday and some dude made a very true statement about tiaras. He said: "Women should wear tiaras more often. It's like an advertisiement: 'This relationship is not going to be easy. I'm a little high maintenance.'" Damn straight.